Monday, January 11, 2010

Me Time

Somewhere along the bumpy road of motherhood, it dawned on me that in order to be a great mom, I don't have to forsake "me time."

There's no question that since I had my son three and a half years ago, his needs/wants have taken priority over my own.  Call me old-fashioned, but I think that's how it should be.  But neglecting oneself is quite drastically different than forsaking oneself entirely!  Which is quite honestly what it's become.

It must be so obvious that even my boss has noticed this unnatural need to please in me, and told me that I need to focus more on me.  Quite honestly, I looked at him like he was speaking a foreign language!  What does that mean?!?  

I had this crazy idea in my head that good moms were like martyrs...that a good mom never thinks about herself.  A good mom is focused solely on the well-being, happiness, and desires of her child.  Only a selfish mom would think otherwise!  

So without even realizing I was doing it, I was completely neglecting - no, forsaking myself - for my family.  

I'd venture quite a few of you out there have fallen into the same trap of being perpetual 'people pleasers' - at the expense of your own well being.  

My annual exam is overdue, my annual mammogram overdo, I can't remember the last time I went to the salon or did anything pampering just for me.  I can never seem to justify doing something for myself.  I'd start an exercise regime, and then stop because I felt guilty for taking time for exercise when I could be doing something for my guys.  My own wardrobe is woefully outdated while my son sports an outlandish amount of clothing!  More than he could possibly wear!  

I've come to see how really ridiculous this is...that in order to be a great mom, I have to take care of myself...being happy and being well cared for makes for a better mom - a better wife - a better me!  

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but I an vowing this year to try to make a little time for me.  I refuse to feel guilty for doing things to ensure my well being like exercise and making the time for checkups, taking a little time for things that give me pleasure and a sense of accomplishment, and allowing myself to be pampered just a bit!  

And I'm blessed to have a wonderful, caring, thoughtful husband that fully supports me and encourages me to make time for myself.  He went overboard this Christmas buying me girly pampering products just to spoil me   Like my boss - my husband, too, realizes the importance of taking time to nurture myself. 

So that's my big plan for 2010 - to make some time just for me!  Whether it be taking 30 minutes a day to exercise, getting/or giving yourself a manicure/pedicure, reading that novel you've been wanting to read, taking a soaking bubble bath, or buying that new outfit you've been wanting... I'd encourage any of you out there in similar situations to do something - ANYTHING - (each day, if possible) just for YOU

We're worth it!
(now I just have to figure out how to find the time for it!)


  1. Crap. You just reminded me...I knew I was forgetting something. That damned OB check up will get you.every.time. Love the post. Totally true. Such martyrs!!!!

  2. Holy totally reminded me. I am well overdue for my OB appt. Love the much so that my first comment did not show up, so I came back...we are such martyrs!

  3. you have to approve them first. Didn't see that the first time. Hope I gave you a good laugh...I am sure I did. Goof ball.

  4. I will tell you from experience that it is VERY important to take care of yourself when you are raising a family. I could never find the right balance but I had plenty of opportunity for exercise and I cooked healthy meals...and I survived raising 4 sons! lol

  5. Truer words have not been spoken, Judy. I learned this lesson a few years ago. We often toss ourselves aside for the sake of the family. Have you heard the saying: "If Mom ain't happy, no one is"? It's pretty true.
    Another thing that often happens is that couples lose the focus on each other. They forget what brought them together to make these beautiful children in the first place. So nurture yourself, and nurture your relationship with Tom and everything else will fall into place.

  6. AMEN lady. Easier said than done sometimes right?

  7. Judy, such a thoughtful post. You already know I could write a book on the subject of trying to please others. Being a generous person with others and taking care of yourself is a delicate balance, but one that I have no doubt you will master.

    Do something for yourself are so worth it! I finally learned to NEVER and I mean never, feel quilt over treating myself.

    Barb ♥


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